I wasn't sure if I was going to like the movie, since it looked a bit too Hollywood for me, but, I decided to order it On Demand as a shout out to a fellow blogger.

Yes, I guess I moonlight as a blogger, but I am still a snob of the medium on ocassion. 

I have to say, yes it was a bit hollywood, but it was charming too, and in the end, it inspires writers to write, and self-professed foodies to cook.  (I must brag about my first sushi wrestling and Chicken Masala here.)

There is so much more to our Narcissism than just what we do during the day than meets the eye.  We also need deadlines, and a self-obsessed project to give our life meaning and structure.  G-d bless the Gen Xers, even if I refuse to call you my brethren. 

Still, no matter what generation, we all have many layers, dreams, and thoughts, many of which we do not share even with our closest friends so we do not open the entire whole crazy package all at once.  Thank you Julie for doing so.

When you think about spending a year of your life living a certain way and writing about it, many thoughts come to mind.

So since living as an Oprah groupie, and this cooking story is already taken, I am open to suggestions.  For now the ones that seem to best suit my lifestyle are:

1.  Gluten Free Cooking without gagging

2.  101 ways to use Manishevitz

3.  Living undercover as a Realtor

4.  Being an Activist while lying on your couch

5.  Photoblog of Dirty Car Slogans

I did see a dirty car the other day that said: "I wish my girl was as dirty as you"

"Imagine a world in which every single person on the planet has free access to the sum of all human knowledge."

Oy vey.

The Israeli tank driver who stripped naked to roll in the snow the first time I brought him to meet the folks.

The first love, who now looks like Tommy Lee.

The rabbi, who travels the world teaching Kabbalah (though this is not really him it may as well be).  This was my guide while visiting Israel who took me on donkey rides, to an incredible 90 year old healer, has a daughter named Ahava - "LOVE" and looks like Moses or Jesus but carries a cell phone. 

The African American Christian firefighter - when I met his folks for Thanksgiving, Ebony and Ivory came on the radio as I choked down turkey.

The Catholic boy who practically made me get down on my hands and knees after a dream he had of his mother giving him guff after our make out session.

The Freeloader

 (Ok, I did not really date Kato, but others just like him.)

oddly, recently they have all surfaced through a plethera of calls and facebook emails apologizing for their various behaviors and telling me how sorry they were for the way they treated me.

It is ironic how those calls come way after you need to hear them.

Anyway, I just caught the trailer for Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past, and I have decided that I need to write my own version, because that would be some funny freakin' crap.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22095/85417-adoption--badge-honor-scarlet-letter-

I talked to J.D. Salinger today.

I know what you have heard- he won't talk to anyone except Nicholas Cage, (or wait there was not proof of them talking, just an autograph for Ms. Arquette), but I managed it just the same.

I channeled him in the shower.

He gave me some good writing advice that I promised not to share with anyone, and I told him that I enjoy Catcher in the Rye and Franny and Zoey at least once a year.

I also told him that I knew he had written other books later in life and that I understood him not wanting to share them with the masses and critics. 

Sometimes the writing you do, is just for you and you don't need others to validate you, your writing, or trample all over it either.

“I think you handled it . . . FAIRLY well. . . I didn’t say, EXTREMELY well, but . . . FAIRLY well.”

She chose her words carefully, but they still managed to slap me in the face repeatedly, although thankfully they were quick slaps by one of my favorite cartoon characters.

Still, they stung more than I expected because in my mind each time a challenge had arisen over the last 20 years, I had channeled my inner Katharine Hepburn; classy, poised, and untouched by it all.

Perhaps these are just coping mechanisms all adopted children possess trying to walk peacefully in the sometimes landmine of life in the adoption triad.

Adoption, though a neutral word in theory is often a charged and taboo subject that unknowingly can redefine everything you thought to be true about yourself and the world around you in the course of one phone call.

It is a topic as political as immunizations and Israel with everyone jumping to broad generalizations, siding with ‘their team’ and demonizing 'the others' almost immediately before any real facts or time is spent smashing the stereotypes and myths surrounding all of the players.

As my mother left, I could not help but wonder who we all might have been had we not been through the experience.

I wondered how despite her pain, she had done her best to support me when my birth family found me, and I pondered my other mother’s joy of being a part of my life now, and imagined her guilt of having missed 18 years knowing me.

I thought about each of my siblings and how we had rediscovered ourselves through each other, and I paused, wondering how many revisions of the story will surface before the time comes for me to explain to my son why I have two mothers.

I pray that one day he will see the benefit of having a Nonnie, Bubbe, Nana, Baba, and Granny to love him and drive him crazy at the same time.  I hope that he will be wise enough not to judge any of us for the road we have had to travel to learn that the word family, can mean many different things, and that in the end, we are all connected.

We all have moments or situations in our lives that challenge us, yet once we are able to look back from the ‘other side’, (again the skills of disassociating can be so helpful) we realize that our greatest challenges always have the capacity to leave us with the biggest gifts if we choose that outcome.

Thankfully, after years spent living as a victim, questioning all that I knew to be true, bridging the gap between the person I thought I was and the person I actually became in the process, and wondering why my life lessons seemed to be so different than those around me, I found my way to a new and better place that allowed me to rewrite my past and discover that we all struggle with these same universal issues no matter what catalyst or life story they present themselves through.

While I will admit on some days, the memories of hearing others say "How does it feel to know that your mother did not want you", and "Do you know who your REAL mom is?" still rear their annoying little heads, these days become fewer and more far between.

Just in case, on the days that I need it, I have a fairy princess pink hammer and a diamond tiara in my closet that give me the strength to smack those thoughts down.

I also remind myself daily through scribbled posted notes, journaling, and hopefully just before I yell at my husband, that there is real power in my words, myths and thoughts.

And though there are many things in my hectic life that I cannot control, I have learned that I always have control over these three.