Judge not, lest ye be peed on

“I finally got Peter potty trained,” said my friend Sara.“Wow, that’s great” I said nearly choking, and then thinking to myself, ‘he’s four right. . . I will have to kill myself if Samson is still in diapers at 4’.

Just then, I stopped, knowing that I must take a step back and ‘check’ myself.

Every time I judge another mom or think that I could do things better, it bites me in the butt. (On occasion it is just a playful nibble, but usually it leaves bite marks for weeks.)

Though I do not consider myself a superstitious person, I do know that this little talked about cardinal rule has proven itself many, many times over. So, I braced myself in case any instant karma might be flung my way, but luckily I was spared for 24 hours.

“Oh. . .so he’s your O-N-L-Y child?” said a fellow mountain mama brethren refusing to close her eyelids until I answered just so she could mock me further.

Did I miss the day that the motherhood rule book was handed out stating: Only child = so sad for the child, mother not living up to her breeder potential?

Ok, so maybe being a mom has made me a little more sensitive.

No matter what anyone tells you, we were all better parents before we actually had kids.

Things bothered us less, and we had a perfect track record and lots of rules that we knew we were going to stand by, and all the answers for success.

Then life happens and things fall by the waste side when you are in the day to day trenches.

I will not give my child a pacifier GUILTY
I will not fight with my husband in front of our son GUILTY
I will not let him my son eat in his car seat or stroller GUILTY
I will turn into June Cleaver NOT EVEN CLOSE

I tried to channel the old TV mothers and to read the parenting magazines, but both sent me into a depression since none of the women from the screen or pages resembled me, nor could I relate to any of them. I felt a bit incompetent taking care of things at home since I had taken shop in Junior High to meet boys instead of home ec. I felt bad as a working mom that I could not prepare organic meals 24 / 7 or have the time to teach my son 30 bilingual words by 5 months.

I planned to breast feed anywhere and everywhere despite what anyone thought; I strung an old guitar and bought an awesome rocking chair so I could sing my son to sleep each night; I listened to hypnosis tapes to gear up for the possibility of natural childbirth despite my fears, so of course my milk never came in, my son wants to be put in bed at night and left alone, and I had to have an emergency c-section three weeks early.


Sometimes, the powers that be have an interesting sense of humor.

I guess what I am saying is that things never go as we plan, and despite our differences or beliefs, we mom’s need to stick together and support each other much more than we do.

Suddenly I feel the need to call all the mothers before me and apologize for any past judgments or insensitive comments I may have made in the hopes that my son will learn to pee IN the potty consistently before his third birthday.