I have a stalker

 Thankfully he is not dangerous, but he is a stalker none the less.

Now I know everyone says that I should enjoy my son wanting to spend every second with me and that I will be sad when he does not want to be with me anymore...

but in my heart I know that they say that because they have AMNESIA and do not remember not being able to pee or poop alone. 

You know it is bad when your son figures out how to open a locked door or bangs at the door the entire time you are hoping for a private moment.  Thank goodness I caught myself yesterday before screaming, "JUST LET ME POOP!" or I can only imagine where and when that might be repeated.

There are the mornings-- sneaking past his room, praying that he will not wake up so I can at least shower by myself..

or the evenings, laying down on the couch hoping that he will play a little on his own and instead realizing that my job as a jungle gym kicks in at that moment, whether I have the flu or not.

As cute as the terrible two's can be, and OH they DO have a great deal of entertainment value for sure, having a constant whiny shadow who I have to distract and sprint for the daycare door before he knows who has left him, or teach him fetch games just to have him leave my side for 10 seconds...can drive anyone to become a little unstable.

Of course now that he is back in school today, I miss my little stalker and feel somewhat flattered that at least someone finds me that irresistible.